John Lennon: Randolf’s Party (In His Own Write, 1964)
This is probably meant to be disturbing, so you might want to get the kids out of the room.
It was Chrisbus but Randolph was alone. Where were all his good pals. Bernie, Dave, Nicky, Alice, Beddy, Freba, Viggy, Nigel, Alfred, Clive, Stan, Frenk, Tom, Harry, George, Harold? Where were they on this day? Randolf looged saggly at his only Chrispbut cart from his dad who did not live there.
“I can’t understan this being so aloneley on the one day of the year when one would surely spect a pal or two?” thought Rangolf. Hanyway he carried on putting ub the desicrations and muzzle toe. All of a surgeon there was amerry timble on the door. Who but who could be a knocking on my door? He opened it and there standing there who? but only his pals. Bernie, Dave, Nicky, Alice, Beddy, Freba, Viggy, Nigel, Alfred, Clive, Stan, Frenk, Tom, Harry, George, Harolb weren’t they? Come on in old pals buddys and mates. Witha big griff on his face Randoff welcombed them. In they came jorking and labbing shoubing “Haddy Grimmble, Randoob.” and other hearty, and then they all jumbed on him and did smite him with mighty blows about his head crying, “We never liked you all the years, we’ve known you. You were never raelly one of us, soft head.”
They killed him you know, at least he didn’t die alone did he? Merry Churstchove, Randolf old pal buddy.